w!: lower case, ooc.
—

they were lying on the stone cold ground with half their bodies in the shade of a tree, their heads tilted up looking at the sky not giving a care about the rusty dust or the smell of bullet powder around. that was a peaceful, starry night.

“you know, maybe you shouldn't be here. may be you shouldn't be with me”, suddenly evan said.

“why? you don't like me being with you?”, gaz asked, his face was full of confusion. he was scared that he might have done something wrong, or again, his lover was currently in another existence crisis. he was not sure which one is worse...

and he was half right. it was the second verse, it always was.

“no, it's not like that... i want you here more than anything. it's just-”, the cold wind catched evan's words. he couldn't finish the sentence, as if there was a lump in his throat that he couldn't spit out.

“someone once said... i was like the sun”, after a moment of hesitation, evan spoke up again.

gaz raised one his eyebrow, his mind seemed to be in a blur, “and what's so wrong about that?”

“if you get too close to me... you may get burnt... just like icarus”, evan close his eyes. he couldn't ever stand seeing gaz got hurt let alone hurting gaz himself.

“icarus? oh...”, a hint of realization hit gaz in the head.

evan still forced his eyes shut, he didn't want to witness gaz's reaction. would he agree, or would he not? would he say anything, or would he just leave him... like everyone else did? a part of evan's heart wanted gaz to leave, for his own good; the other part, being more selfish, wish gaz would stay by his side forever.

a billion of thoughts were crossing evan's mind, his eyebrows narrowed. for a split moment, he couldn't help his body sank to the ground while the silent thoughts in his head was devouring his heart. as his chest were boiling by the heat of overwhelmed, his limbs went numb, almost like he was drowning but couldn't be able to scream for help. he wouldn't scream or move, he didn't want to, he'd rather die than open his senses and watch every traces of gaz slowly evaporate right in front of him.

while evan was drowning and suffocating in his own pool of thoughts, he felt a familiar glint brushing on his face, a light touch like the warmth of sunlight tracing the shape of his left cheek. gaz's thumb was caressing his skin, so gentle and kind and thoughtful. evan slowly opened his eyes, to catch a soft stare of the man he would die for.

“i- i don't know much about mythology. but i have heard, the legend of icarus...”, gaz said patiently.

evan looked at him, with his heart trembling for its life and his bones on the edge of being crushed to dust, the frustration was quickly building up in his head.

“icarus was burnt to the ground because he flew too close to the sun, they said. but you know what? I think- I'm sure, at that moment, he grinned at the sky as he fell.”

gaz's words carved into evan's heart, his eyes widened like he couldn't believe to the thing he just heard from gaz. that... that was not the thing that he expected to hear. he stared into gaz's eyes, those warm brown eyes which made evan fell in love for a thousand times, he knew those eyes would never tell a lie, not this time either.

“evan”, gaz called out his name, his voice was low and soothing as if he was saying an oath, “if i ever was icarus amd you were my sun, i would risk it all and trail kisses to your skin not giving a fuck about getting burnt to death. and i would still smile in satisfaction as i hit the ground.”

gaz were pouring his heart out, while evan's tears were pouring out his eye sockets. the warm crystal rolling on evan's cheeks and gaz's fingers, and he used his thumb to wipe them away.

“but—”, evan again got choked by his words, and gaz didn't even give him a chance to finish his sentence.

“i am willing to, just to kiss you for a last time, i am willing to let you take my life away”, gaz voice was just... too gentle, and convincing. it touched every small corner of evan's chest and lungs, slowly laid a lively breath in there. for the first time in such a long time, evan felt like living.

evan couldn't think anything else, couldn't remember anything else, even when they were lying on the ground where a war got declared. they were risking it all, like it doesn't matter. at that moment, all they focused on was each other's embrace, was each other's caresses and touches, was each other hot breaths brushing on their faces and necks.

they were living in a war. but in that night only, it felt like they were in a sweet house, in the quiet peaceful part of the south with meadows and horses surrounding, and with love flickering in their hearts.

—
written by evan,
sóng chéo.