The next thing I know is when I wake up, I don't see my sister at all. I yawn, stretch my shoulders very comfortably, do personal hygiene, and then go look for her. There is a very delicious smell, my sister is cooking breakfast in the kitchen. That is strange because since a long time ago until now, she never cooked before.

"Unni, what are you cooking?" I step toward her and link my arms around her hip.

"Just a simple meal, bread and omlet egg." That's right, she does not how to cook much.

"Why don't you ask the housekeeper to cook? Why do you want to try so hard?"

"I just want to cook for you."

"So special." I giggle, just me on this Earth could eat the meal that Jiyeon cooks.

The breakfast is really delicious, I eat the bread and drink an enormous glass of milk.

"What are we doing today, unni?" I ask.

"Uhm... I don't know."

"I don't want to do anything, I just want to stay home and cuddle with you." I spoke pretty boldly, but I also feel guilty at the same time.

"Yeah, let's do that." Her answer surprises me.

"I was just joking."

"If you want, you can cuddle with me." My sister strokes my hair.

I feel very happy. She spoils me with everything so I often want more and more. Even though that is the case, I still want to do something meaningful today.

"Unni, we should go to visit the orphanage today."

"Okay, that's a good idea."

My sister and I have five cars in the garage. Each of them has a different brand, Toyota, Chevrolet, Mercedes, Porsche, and BMW. Most of them are sport cars. Today I want to go with the white BMW, it has the speed that I like. I'm going to be the driver and on the road, the most beautiful scene is when I look at my sister closing her eyes to relax. Still, the snow has not fallen yet because the sunlight is shining everyday.

So I wrap my arm on her shoulder when we get to the place. This orphanage has not changed much. It is still the same as before, the only difference is that there are more green trees planted here. We notice a little girl, maybe she is an orphan here.

"Hi little one!" Jiyeon unni walks with me to greet her.

"Hi guys." The little girl says, but why did she say "guys"?

"Unni is Jiyeon, this is Eunjung. What's your name?" Jiyeon introduces.

"Boram, Jeon Boram. How old are you two?" That is strange, I kind of have a suspicion toward this little girl.

(Eunjung is feeling this way because the girl is speaking informally instead of being respectful. They estimated the girl to be very young.)

"Unni is twenty, Eunjung is twenty-five. Why?" Jiyeon unni represents me to speak as always.

"If it is so, you guys can call me 'unni', I am already twenty-seven years old." Boram speaks stressfully.

(In Asia, we talk about age this way because Boram of T-ARA looks very young compares to her age. This is not to offend anyone.)

"We are so sorry... Do you work here, Unni?"

"Yeah, I am the new principal here. Right now the children are having lunch, do you need anything?"

"We are just visiting, this is where Eunjung was living when she was little." Jiyeon goes on.

"Is that right? I will take you two to have a walk around here."

"Yes. Thank you unni."

Boram is so adorable. If we don't look closely, she looks like a little one, but her voice shows that she is an adult. She leads us to where the children are eating. The kids are so different now because they're very friendly. A few of them even compliment me "beautiful" and "cool" looking just like a Kpop star. I don't need to describe how they complimented Jiyeon unni because she has always been the most lovable person in everyone's eyes. 

Afterwards, Boram told us to plant a tree because Jiyeon and I donated some money into the orphanage. All of the trees on the campus are planted to appreciate those people who have a kind heart. Jiyeon and I planted a little tree and we put up a sign "Eunjung & Jiyeon Park" next to it.

"Bye Boram unni, we will see you later." And we leave.

On the way driving home, at last I feel relieved. I can face all of my horrific pasts now. Is it because I'm doing a right thing? Or is it because the world is a better place now?

"I like how you smile, you smile so beautifully." Oh, I have been smiling very goofy.

"I feel very happy, thank you unni."

"Why are you thanking me?"

"Because you've always been by my side."

"You don't have to thank me, 'Cause... I will never leave you."

I continue to drive the car. I swear I wanna kiss her right now. She always makes my heart dancing and skipping beats. My eyes are filled with tears. If I don't have my sunglasses on, she would notice it.

Cannot control my impulse, I turn the car around and go up a hill. Twilight is slowly, quietly covering the horizon of this city. I hold her wrist and pull her out of the car, this startles her and makes me feel very angry with myself.

Standing under the crown of a tree, I embrace Jiyeon really tight, very tight.  I rub my head between her neck and chest, and just cry like a three-year-old baby. I also know that I had passed my years of puberty, but my mood right now defeats my control over the body. I feel bitter but sweet at the same time. She does not say anything and uses her hand to lightly stroke my back. The powerful sun is descending little by little, it shines on us creating a distant but warm shadow.

...

Jiyeon's finger quietly wipes away the tears on my eyelash. And... I quickly take a hold of that hand, intertwine it into mine. She does not reject and holds my hand. This makes me very satisfied and I decided to take one more step. 

I calmly elevate her hand upward and kiss it. She just looks and looks very earnestly. I don't understand her gaze, it's swirling deeply into my deserted conscience. We are just like that and don't release until we're home.

This house is ours. Only Jiyeon unni, the housekeeper and I live here (she goes back and forth, doesn't stay at night), our parents live in another house. I don't know how I'm not hungry today. Usually, I eat a lot. However, I don't want my lovely girl to feel hungry so I ask the housekeeper to cook a meal.

I seat there and watch her eat humbly. She asks me if I want to eat but I answer no, Jiyeon is worried. Until dessert, a piece of strawberry shortcake is brought to the table. She scoops a spoon and brings it to my lips, I shake my head. Jiyeon unni eats it; this is a kind of cake that my "baby" sister likes the most. When she eats this cake, she is no different than a baby. Mouth is stuffed, lips are pouting, both cheeks are chubby moving... I don't know how she eats to get so much cream sticking on her lips...

"Now I wanna eat."

Just one sentence and I elevate her chin. My lips covering tightly on her lips. What am I doing today? Where has my everyday determined control gone to?

My eyes are already closed. I am like getting lost into a strawberry field, sweet and smells milky. I know that she is shocked and opens her eyes to the widest possible to look at me. My body is not steady anymore, it becomes so extraordinarily weak.

I am infatuated, continue to suck the strawberry cream on her lips. I cannot stop. I open her lips and suck the cream in there too. It's even sweeter than the cake on the dish.

Clanggg!

The sound of the spoon falling onto the concrete floor and I feel awakened. Jiyeon face is now redder than that red of the strawberries. I suddenly realized that I did something wrong. I release her and bow my head apologetically. 

"Unni... I'm... Full." I worriedly say and still do not look up.

"You... Said that... You don't wanna eat... Now... You eat like... This?" My sister is diffident no less than me.

"Now I'm gonna go to sleep... You do whatever you want." Oh no, she is mad at me.

"..." I'm so dead...

*

We lay down on the bed and turn our backs to each other, not saying anything. I can't sleep because I have an empty stomach, now I feel sorry so I punish myself not to eat tonight.

About 12:30 AM, my stomach growls a bit... 1:00 AM, fighting badly... 1:30 AM OMG, I'm losing my mind. My head starts to ache.

My stomach starving wakes my sister up. She walks out of bed, maybe she's going to the bathroom. I put a pillow on my stomach and squeeze it so it doesn't growl anymore. I frown, probably looking very hideous. I look up and see my sister holding a cup of milk. 

"Jung, drink this milk." She demands.

"Nah... Ah..." I shake my head, I want to punish myself after doing such a thing to her.

"Sit up!" I startle because her voice is like lightning striking through my ears.

I sit straight up. My sister takes a big gulp of milk. Oh, that's not even for me. She wants to punish me too...

Awk!

It's not the sound of my sister's throat, but it is mine. I drank milk but from Jiyeon's lips...

My turn to be shocked. Her lips once again take a hold of mine. The nutty milk together with the sweet honey (although milk and honey are food-poisoning for a lot of people, they like it sweet...) flow to my mouth. My sisters' eyes are closed in front of me. We are to close and inhaling in each other's breaths. 

"You are so childish today... You want me to feed you like this?" She releases me and says.

"I'm... Sorry..." I apologize.

"You'll be skinny if you don't eat."

"Yeah."

"You drink the milk now or we can... continue?" Jiyeon speaks with an attitude of a babysitter to a little baby.

"We... Should... Continue..." I think today I ate "tiger's liver" (Vietnamese traditional saying of being daring), I got the earth and I want the whole universe.

"You dare... to kid me?" She kind of rolls her eyes at me. It's the first time I have seen her that upset.

"Oh... I'll drink it by myself."

I take the glass of milk and drink all of it, not to leave a drop. The warm milk makes my stomach feel so much better. Our night passes just like that. Hilarious but delirious... In my heart and my mind now lasting only one word, "sweetness".

*

"She's already gone..." I peel the sticky-note on the cabinet.

My sister left since 6:00 AM and she didn't want me to escort her. She and I never like to complicate things. Crying and bye-ing is very... troublesome. 

"Jung, stay at home and study obediently. After one week, go to the airport and take me home." This is what written by her on the note.

I sigh. One week without my sister... I will study in a painful and miserable way.