Since the moment I saw you, I'd already known you would be my life.

I was just a son of a not really important official in your Father's court. You was the second prince, the one who always attracted attention wherever you went, even though you didn't know it yourself.

I'd once gone to the court, but your Father said I was too young, so I had to come back home, spending every day studying and studying. I didn't have the desire to serve our small country like my father, but I just did it, because... well, because I didn't have any other choice.

Ha, I was that arrogant. Many people wasted all their lives trying, hoping to have a place in court, while I was here, thanks to my father. I wasn't like that General, being a genius as he was, I was just plain talentless and hopeless.

We met the first time when I was nineteen, you was twenty four, in a party to celebrate new officials, myself included. Yeah, finally I could be back to the court. I hadn't done anything significant, honestly. One day my father just said: "He's completed his study, your Majesty." And then the King easily allowed me to come back.

While I was bored to death eating my plate, my eyes suddenly caught you. You was sitting beside your brother- the first prince, laughing at something I couldn't hear, the devil dancing in your eyes. I stared at your face for a good long time, until someone woke me up from my daydream. Yeah, pathetic as it was, I was already dreaming about you even though we'd just met. I wanted to be the one who made you laugh, I yearned to be the one holding you, I wished you could turn my way and then we began our...

My dream partly came true one month later. You need someone to record the court's talk for you. I gladly jumped to the position, not much a surprise here. My father secretly wanted me to follow you, if not I wouldn't know there was this "vacancy". But whatever, as long as I could be near you.

... Or not. You were so busy visiting the first prince- who was a head of one province and indulging in the upcoming war with the neighboring kingdom that I could only send all the texts to you. I wished I could discuss the court's talk with you, then we could have dinner together. Instead, I only received small letters from you, complimenting and encouraging me to work harder. I wouldn't tell you I still kept those letters after all these years. I wouldn't tell you how many times I gazed at your writing, either.

I guessed I was lucky when you came back after six months. I wouldn't ever forget the first time we talked, as you paid a visit to my house right after. My father was out, there was only me greating you. You laughed when you saw my surprise face: "I want to meet you. Those records you sent me helped me a lot. I appreciate your efforts."

"No my lord, that is my duty. It's my honor to serve you."

And then we sat there, you on the chair, me on the lower one, the awkward silence. I wanted to say many things, but all of those were inappropriate, like "Can I hug you?", "Let's kiss", "Can we skip to the bedroom?" So I was just sitting still, keeping my face as straight as possible, while kicking myself in my head for being such a coward. I was afraid you would recognize my feelings, if you knew, could I still see you?

"I have a favor to ask." You said, after realizing I was too tense.

"Whatever you want, my lord", I immediately showed my loyalty.

"Please stop all the formalities. Let's be honest here, I think you know what I want, and to achieve that, I need your help."

I raised my head, hurriedly assured you: "Of course. I will do anything I can."

"Thank you. A lot of things will happen, whether it's good or bad, let's make all of them our advantages."

I knew. A man with ambition like you wouldn't stand by and do nothing. But whatever you want, you had me here!

Even though I was talentless...

Five years later, the first prince died from a "serious illness". Yeah well, we all knew where that illness came from. To keep the royal family's face, let's just assume he died peacefully.

His position needed to be filled though. Just as you and me had predicted, the third prince volunteered. He was ambitious, like you. I lost count of how many times he'd attacked you in court. He was drawing an delusional picture of achieving the highest goal. I wouldn't let him, no matter what.

So, as he was newly appointed to this position, the King needed someone to watch over him. Seemed like he didn't trust his third son much.

I knew that my chance had come.

That day when we said our goodbyes, you held my hand. Yours were so cold I wondered if the heat from mine could ever warm it. I wished I could hug you too. This time we'd be back to our beloved letters, I'd already thought the first lines. It'd be perfect if you thought of them as my (hopeless) love letters.

"Please come back, my lord. Don't worry, I'll do anything I can." I said dutifully

"I'll wait for you."

I still didn't let out your hand. I didn't want to. But my mission was still there, I couldn't neglect anymore.

At that time, I knew when I came back to you, there'd be a serious event going on.

I was right. Four years later, the third prince- who'd abandoned the position and fled to another province that had the border now, wrote a letter to the neighboring kingdom, persuaded their king to attack ours. The worst thing was, this happened after our King passed away, and you was supposed to inherit the throne. The third prince used the foreign army to revolt against you, he was willing to be their navigator.

I was still under his command. One day he asked me for the strategy against you. I drew a plan for him, including how to arrange the army in a "perfect" way. He seemed satisfied.

After he conducted the plan, I quickly packed all of my things and fled to the capital. I'd had enough. I needed to see you.

When we met again, you were still the same, handsome, a little bit tired, your eyes didn't hide the joy. I wished to hug you, after all this time, I still kept that wish. I wished to touch you, to taste your lips, to kiss your eyes, to give you my submission, to worship your body...

I reported the situation, including my not-so-good plan for the third prince. You immediately called for a meeting, persuading your uncle as to why you had to "handle my brother". Your uncle was angry and saw it as justice to go with your plan.

The enemy still came. Hell, they'd waited for this chance since forever. But it was foolish to think they could destroy our land.

Yeah, our land, not theirs. Never theirs. We would protect this place till the end of our lives.

We won. The enemy had to retreat. The third prince was killed. The war was over. But I knew, you knew, we all knew this was just temporary. Soon they would come back, soon we had to shed blood again. There would be more traitors like the third prince who was willing to sell their homeland just to have what they wished.

But we were still here, together we fought.

You became King. I was awarded with a title, but I just wanted to be your insignificant servant. You took interest in your brother's mistress even though she was a mother of three. This became quite a scandal in our kingdom, so I let my rage win over and dashed to your place.

"Please reconsider, your Majesty", I nearly begged, hoping you'd understand, "She spent a lot on jewelry, she used your favor to manipulate..."

"You care for me?" , you suddenly said

"What? Of course, everyone..."

"I mean, you have feelings for me?"

I stood still, too horrified and embarrassed to reply. I half wanted to run away, half wanted to throw myself in your arms. But since I knew my feelings was a crime, I couldn't do anything.

"She's just a decoy", you sighed, "I need someone to cover for you."

"For me? Why?", I apologized my head was shut up now

"To freely have my way with you, you silly."

My face was already soaked in tears, as I really threw myself in your arms.

Finally I could hug you.

------------------------------------------------------------

Nhân vật:

I = Vân Hiên hầu (không rõ họ)

You = Chúa Nguyễn Phúc Lan

The King = Chúa Nguyễn Phúc Nguyên

The first prince = Nguyễn Phúc Kỳ

The third prince = Nguyễn Phúc Anh

The first prince's mistress = Tống Thị

The province = Quảng Nam

The other province = Quảng Bình

The Kingdom = Đàng Trong

The neighboring kingdom = Đàng Ngoài

The General = Đào Duy Từ

Lảm nhảm:
Tẩy trắng chuyên nghiệp 100 năm. Tẩy từ Trịnh Tùng tẩy đến chúa Phúc Lan🍷
Vân Hiên hầu làm chức ký lục, theo lời chúa Phúc Lan đi theo giám sát Phúc Anh. Sau này Vân Hiên hầu bày cho Phúc Anh đắp luỹ chống chúa Phúc Lan, bày xong thì ông cuốn gói chạy về báo cho chúa (chơi đẹp 🍷 ) Vai trò của ông chỉ được ghi lại có nhiêu đây thôi, rất mờ nhạt giữa cái thời tướng lĩnh nổi lên tùm lum. Đến họ tên đầy đủ của ông cũng chả biết 😔 Trong cuốn Nam Triều công nghiệp diễn chí thì ông được xuất hiện vài cảnh, nhưng cảnh nào cũng rất mùi mẫn với chúa Phúc Lan 😌🎉🎉🎉 Nhất là cảnh chúa ngượng ấy, dễ thương 😆
....
Nói chứ cái thời gì mà hở chút là chạy đi báo cho quân Trịnh, không thấy nhục với tổ tiên sao. Trịnh Cối cũng bị nói là phản bội khi đầu hàng nhà Mạc, nhưng nhìn sao cũng thấy ở hoàn cảnh đó không đầu hàng thì chết à. Trong khi ở đây lại chủ động mời đến....
=> cho nên tui tẩy trắng cho Trịnh Cối thôi
Hi vọng một ngày sẽ biết được tên họ đầy đủ của bác.