Okuyasu rolled over on his side and gently buried his face in the bed's fluffy pillow. Sitting almost regally beside him, was Koichi, quietly peeling an apple with a small pocket knife, Yukako massaging his shoulders from behind, assuring him of sweet things and how much she loved him. A nasal cannula tickled his nostrils, as air was generously flowing through his lungs.

"Are you feeling any better?" Koichi quietly asked, slicing a piece of apple slowly and delicately. Handing the apple to Okuyasu, he slowly laid up on his back, and took the apple slice, mouthing Koichi a quiet thank you. 

"I don't know, to be honest," Okuyasu sighed, staring down at the IV stuck in his arm, eyeing the clear liquid speeding through the tube and into his body. Koichi took a tiny bite of the apple, and proceeded to hand it to Yukako. "The doctors say you're gonna be fine. They're gonna take some  CT scans and urine tests or something like that," Koichi assured, munching quickly on the chunk of apple in his mouth. Okuyasu followed suite and plopped the slice in his mouth, thankful for the savory and sweet taste of juice running down his throat. 

"It's not that..." Okuyasu whispered. "It's Josuke I'm worried about. I haven't heard how he's doing since the ambulance ride." 

Koichi and Yukako made eye contact, as if they were sharing a telepathic connection. Okuyasu furrowed his brow in confusion, and turned his gaze to the window. The sun's clear rays of warmth made Okuyasu shiver against the cool, air-conditioned room, wishing he could feel its heat. Clouds were still and birds seemed silent. Even the view felt depressing and quiet, just like Okuyasu.

Promptly in the midst of his groggy state, Okuyasu heard a familiar scream. It was agonizing, as Okuyasu dug his face into the pillow. 

"Where is he?!" the familiar voice wailed. It sounded like the person was right outside his room, in the hallway. Koichi jumped up from his seat, grabbing Yukako's hand timidly. "What happened to my baby boy?! Where's my son?!"

It was Ms.Higashikata...presumably here for Josuke. 

"Ma'am, I need you to stay calm for us. It's troubling news". Okuyasu slowly lifted his head and stared at the door, waiting for this supposed "troubling news". "Your son is in urgent care, he's getting attention in the operating wing. I assure you he's in good hands".

Heartbreak was the only way to describe what he felt when Ms.Higashikata cried out, and whimpered helplessly. A mother in pain, a mother in distress and in denial. He couldn't imagine what ran through her mind. But he knew what repetitively ran through his.

This is all my fault...this is all my fault...this is all my fault...this is all my fault.

Okuyasu sat up, vertigo fresh in his head. He rested his head on his knees and curled up into a ball. Tomoko could only continue to scream for her son, for Josuke and his life at risk. Her baby boy, her flesh and blood, her hope and reason to be a good mother.

This is all my fault...this is all my fault...this is all my fault...this is all my fault.

"Ms.Higashikata...I assure you that everything is going to be alright. We have the best doctors operating on him right now". That couldn't stop her crying. It was haunting, for each cry made Okuyasu shake relentlessly. A mother's bond was something beautiful, and with how foolish he was...he could have seriously killed Josuke. He prayed to God that the operation would work, so maybe one day, he could properly apologize for the pain and sorrow he put the Higashikatas through. He felt Koichi rubbing his back in an attempt to calm him down. But Okuyasu could only shake underneath his touch. He couldn't be touched at a moment like this. He could only think of Josuke's touch, and how gentle he was. Those hands, he hoped, would move again, to hug his mother, and to hold him as he cried for Josuke's recovery. 

"Deep breaths," Koichi assured, patting him on the shoulder. "I'll go talk to Josuke's mom."

And with that, Koichi got up and went for the door, sliding it open. For one fleeting second, he saw Tomoko in the hall on her knees, collapsing onto the floor in tears, just before Koichi closed the door. The room was empty, aside from him and Yukako, who struggled with making eye contact. 

Seeing it made Okuyasu visibly uncomfortable, Yukako cleared her throat. "I'm not really good at that bedside manner kinda stuff...".

Okuyasu forced a tiny smile and nodded at her statement. "It's okay..." he whispered. "There's not much to say".

To break the strange yet suddenly peaceful silence, the door slid open, and Ms.Higashikata strode in, followed by Koichi and a nurse. Her eyes were red and bags under her eyes sagged her face. She still looked shell shock, as she couldn't relax, fidgeting with her purse and her hands as she approached Okuyasu's bed. 

"Oh god," she sighed sadly, taking a seat on the side of his bed. "I'm so relieved you're okay, Okuyasu."

She squeezed his hands and smiled nervously. "Are you in any pain, sweetheart?"

Okuyasu closed his eyes and retracted from his grip, breathing in a shaky pattern. "I'm so sorry," he whispered. Tomato gave him a confused look and patted his arm. "what are you apologizing for?"

He couldn't bare those words. What was he apologizing for? He thought it would have been blatantly obvious. It was him who put Josuke at risk when he carelessly jumped into action. When he woke up from his deathly sleep, he hardly had a scratch on him. He knew Josuke must have dragged his dead body around. He didn't remember what happened after he was knocked into the fence. White hot searing pain, then nothing but agonizing white.

Okuyasu held a whimper in his hands as he doubled over and trembled. "It's my fault Josuke got hurt. He should have just let me die, the way it should have been!"

Okuyasu's ear rung as he bawled pathetically, his eyes stinging with tears. Tomato stifled a sniffle, and leaned in to hold Okuyasu gently. "Now don't you dare say that. Whatever you did, I know you wouldn't do it to hurt Josuke. He adores you, Sweetpea. You're a kind and gentle soul, it's not your fault."

She sounded like his mom in those raw minty moments. "It's not your fault, Oku baby," he remembered her say from her side of the hospital bed. "You are enough for me. In life and in death." 

Okuyasu rested his head in the crook of Tomoko's neck, as she rocked him back and forth. He whimpered and whispered his mother's name. He found himself even mouthing a sorry to Keicho. It all felt so surreal. Keith at the pearly gates of heaven, and his predominant stare. Was he really sent back from heaven? Could he have seen his mother? 

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry," he repeated quietly, as he whimpered against Tomoko. 

"I'm so sorry Josuke..."

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He looked deathly pale. Shoulder length purple hair strung out against his pillow, eyes almost lifeless. His hair looked soft and fluffy, yet painfully dull and gray, just as Josuke's state. He was hooked up to a CPAP, the mask on his mouth covering those plump shiny lips. IVs littered his scarred and bruised arms, bandages hugging his body. Okuyasu leaned forward in his chair, stray cat nuzzled in his lap, snoring quietly. He looked peaceful at rest, yet hauntingly lifeless. He clasped Josuke's hand in his own and gently squeezed it. 

"You must be so tired, Josuke," Okuyasu lamented, reaching up with his freehand to wipe away signs of a tear. He lifted Josuke's hand to his lips and softly kissed his knuckles, taking a moment to feel his cold skin against his lips. "You're so brave, you know that right, bro?". Okuyasu yawned and took a moment to stare out the big glassy window in Josuke's hospital room. He could only see darkness, and his shaky reflection in the glass. The bright lights made him look sunken and tired. And that he was. 

"M-Ms. Fujioka gave us our final reading assignment for the year," Okuyasu gently informed. He let go of Josuke's hand and bent down to reach into a bag Koichi gave Okuyasu that contained homework for him and his friend, as they missed school while in the hospital. In his hands, Okuyasu held a novel, reading "The Catcher in The Rye". 

He fell silent, and stiffened up at the haunting silence in the room, the whir of machinery and the buzz of the overhead lights pounding in his head. "L-let me read the beginning to you," Okuyasu gently chuckled, shakily opening the book and placing it on his lap. Stray cat hissed and stared down at the pages in curiosity. Okuyasu cracked a smile. "Do you wanna listen too, stray?"

Stray gently meowed and nuzzled into Okuyasu's arm. Okuyasu smiled sadly and cleared his throat. 

"If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth. In the first place, that stuff bores me, and in the second place, my parents would have two hemorrhages apiece if I told anything pretty personal about them."

Okuyasu paused and looked back at Josuke, who silently lay in peace. Tears pricked at the side of his eyes as he continued to read. "They're quite touchy about anything like that, especially my father. They're nice and all - I'm not saying that - but they're also touchy as hell. Besides, I'm not going to tell you my whole goodam autobiography or anything. I'll just tell you about this madman stuff that happened to me last Christmas just before I got pretty run-down and had to come out-". A tear landed on the word "out", and Okuyasu shut his eyes in a flash and swallowed a sob. He felt so alone. So alone despite the pretense of Josuke. Oh god how he missed his soothing voice and remarks. He cleared his throat and continued to read.

 "I mean that's all I told D.B. about, and he's my brother and all. He's in Hollywood. That isn't too far from this crumby place, and he comes over and visits me practically every week end. He's going to drive me home when I go home next month maybe. He just got a Jaguar. One of those little English jobs that can do around two hundred miles an hour. It cost him damn near four thousand bucks. He's got a lot of dough, now. He didn't use to. He used to be just a regular writer, when he was home. He wrote this terrific book of short stories, The Secret Goldfish, in case you never heard of him. The best one in it was "The Secret Goldfish." It was about this little kid that wouldn't let anybody look at his goldfish because he'd bought it with his own money. It killed me."

He traced that final sentence with his thumb and quietly reached for Josuke's hand once again and rubbed his palms with his thumb. "This is one boring book, ain't it Josuke?"

He imagined Josuke hopping up from bed and saying a smart remark that would make Okuyasu fall into a laughing fit. He missed moments like those. He squeezed his hand, and refused to let go. "I miss you a lot...please wake up for me when you can."

as expected, Josuke said nothing in his lifeless slumber. 

"L-let's go to that sandwich shop you like..." Okuyasu found himself promising. "They serve watermelon now since it's getting really hot out. I'll bring you a slice when you wake up..."

More tears plopped down onto the book. "A-and I'll play piano for you, just like you said you wanted. I'll play it just for you. All the best songs. Any song you want I'll play for you..."

"I'll do anything for you Josuke," he whispered, leaning forward to brush his lips to his forehead. he kissed it lightly and brushed away a strip of hair covering his face.

He stared back down as the book and sniffled, wiping away a final tear. He continued to read into the night.

He didn't leave Josuke's side. 

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Hey germs! Good news, I don't have COVID, BAZINGA!!! I'm no longer sick and I'm mentally feeling a lot better. I decided to push out a chapter this week because until December I'm gonna be busy. I have to do an important audition for an all state league and I need time to practice and etc. So hang in there, there will be a happy ending, I promise!!!!

As always, stay safe and I'll drop the next chapter as soon as I possibly can!

Thank you lovelies!!!

-Jameson